Monday, September 6, 2010

2pounds lighter

I was ready for a gain. Last night I went to a friend's wedding. There were tables covered with food and a pig being slow-cooked in the pit.

I used the plastic spoon and didn't put anything on my plate that didn't fit on that spoon. (Only one spoonful for each desired dish.) I made up for the little piles on my plate by getting a really big portion (13.5 points worth) of pork. And I ate one cookie. My plate was oh-so-satisfying and I still got to try everyone's dish. I opted out of wedding cake and chose not to drink the sherbet punch but didn't miss them.

Still, I was pretty sure this was going to kill today's weigh-in. And here I sit at the laptop MINUS two pounds! I am so stoked!

Right now I feel like my goal of wearing a bikini next summer (without causing public waves of nausea) isn't just a joke, but a real possibility. I really don't plan on wearing a bikini (after the double mastectomy, I don't have anything to fill the top - BUT it would be nice to have the option to wear one) - that my weight won't dictate my fashion choices. I will decide what I want to wear - not whatever is in my size that I settle for.

Oh, those two pounds mean SO much! This is the perfect mood for grading papers. Time to get to work...after all, it is Labor Day. :)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Painting Queen Today

Friday, August 20, 2010
I spent hours painting the nastiness that was once my classroom door (and I went ahead and painted my coworker's door as well). I then got a wee bit carried away and painted a mural...on the entrance to my classroom trailer. Yes, I painted a 4' x 4' design on the wooden boardwalk. I probably should have asked the principal first. ooops.

Then again, I didn't ask before I put up gutters on the trailer. I didn't ask before I built wooden benches outside in the courtyard. I didn't ask when I built the cabinets, shelves, and student cubbies. I also didn't ask to sand the graffiti off of the disgusting tables that students have been using for at least 16 years (based on the years carved along with the ugly words).So, I figured a little paint wouldn't be a bad thing. I hope. We'll find out Monday I guess.

So I spent another 13 hours at work and instead of eating out I brought a Smart Ones meal. That's the good news. The not-so-good news? That is all I ate for the day until just after midnight. Though I did eat a veggie burger, having only 10 points for the day can't be healthy. I don't feel hungry, but this is the type of poor eating habits that helped me become overweight. In the past, I would work my butt off (unfortunately not literally) and then grab a quick, and large portion of filling food.

I need to get into a routine of eating something healthy in the morning before work, then eat a healthy meal at work - plus bring a sensible snack in case it turns out to be a long day. Then when I leave work, I will be less likely to want to stuff my face.

Baby steps Stephanie. Baby steps. Right now I should be getting to bed. I have another row of cubbies to build for my classroom this weekend. Hey, I wonder if I have enough paint to cover the back door....?

Mexican Food for Lunch-Ay Caramba!

Thursday, August 19
What to order, what to order...?

Everything was covered with cheese and surrounded by pools of refried beans and enough rice to feed a family. I wish every restaurant had point values on their menus!I ended up ordering a dish that seemed relatively safe. Pollo Adobo (and when I came home a few minutes ago I tried to Google it, but what I ate today and what they call Pollo Adobo are two very different foods.) So I ended up listing every ingredient that I could. Since it was mostly sliced chicken breast and veggies (spinach, onions, & peppers) it was pretty good. I just wish I knew what the flavor came from-I mean there wasn't a sauce or anything, but the food seemed like it was cooked together with some kind of salty (and yummy) liquid. Who knows? With my luck the meal was probably full of hidden points. It seems I'm going to have to work on the whole eating out thing.

Here's the good news: I specifically asked for the lunch portion (smaller). Then I only ate HALF! I mean it was mouth-watering, but I actually realized I was full and stopped eating. (This is a calendar marking moment for me.) I just finished eating the rest of it for dinner...and I am full.

That one meal (and a Starbucks coffee) are the only points I've had today. If that meal was worth more than I calculated, I am sure I worked it off with all the manual labor and scrubbing I did today in my classroom. 14 of hours muscle-screaming work-none of it done while seated. Well, I did take a lunch break and on the way back went to the store for more supplies for the classroom)

Right now I can barely sit here and type. I am pooped. And tomorrow, I am not going out to eat. Not unless I can plan ahead and know points before I order.

Night Night all - I will be asleep in no time!

Buffet: You are a Cruel Creature

Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Today we were in our mandatory day-long teacher workday held at one of the local churches. To ensure we didn't escape, breakfast and lunch were provided. Tables were covered with point-ridden dishes. Lunch had the added benefit of an additional dessert table.

I ate fruit for breakfast (the fruit was located next to a small mountain of biscuits, trays of Chick-fil-A chicken breakfast things. I think the fruit was designed to be eaten with the cartons of caramel, but I just put a little bit of fruit on my plate. No toppings - not even sugar.

Lunch was really hard for me. I didn't know what to expect so I didn't know how to plan for the buffet. It turned out to be deli sandwiches and a whole lot of salads (no, not the leafy kind, the thick melted cheese type that really should be labeled casseroles.) I ended up putting a couple of slices of turkey on my plate and ate some more of the fruit left from breakfast. There was a three bean salad kind of thing and I tried a little of that too.

Most importantly, I did NOT have a single dessert. Not even a bite. Granted, I walked by the table a few times (with my hands in my pockets to help with my self-control), but I didn't taste a bit. I really REALLY wanted to though. The breads were frosted with about an inch-thick layer of gooey sweetness, and someone brought in a vat of banana pudding (complete with vanilla wafers). There were seemingly endless dishes of chocolate cakes and other frosted concoctions. By the time I got home (6:30) I was hungry. I scarfed down celery (with peanut butter-yep, I'm a bad girl). Then when I felt I was calm, I ate one of the Weight Watchers Smart Ones meals and even ate a slice of wheat bread with a piece of American cheese on top.

I only have 3.5 points left for today. I am going to relax here on the computer, finish my Diet Pepsi, then collapse on the bed. I am one tired puppy!

I won my match!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Woot Woot! I won my pool match tonight and didn't get tempted by the ton of food on every counter space in the place. Well, let me rephrase that: I was tempted, but I didn't fall for it. I just got home (11:00pm) and ate a veggie burger. Yum.

Tomorrow is my first day back to school. We have an all-day meeting at a local church (complete with massive amounts of food). I have already spread the word to a few of my coworkers about my new eating lifestyle, so hopefully I won't be a target for the people who mean well, but think shoving food in your face is a good thing. Today was a great day!

Getting ready to play pool

Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesdays are challenging for me. It is my league night. Every Tuesday my teammates either order delivery or if we are playing at a bar with a grill, it means greasy, cheesy, fatty food from the menu. I used to be the one who wrangled the orders (I don't play the opening match). Though my friends mean well, it is hard when they say, "Oh, one little piece of _______ (insert incredibly tempting food here) won't hurt" or "You should reward yourself" or "But you get the weekly splurge points; live a little."

Now I eat before I go out so I have a ready-made excuse for not indulging and I drink Bud Select 55. I make sure to save my daily points for a SmartOnes meal when I come home and that has worked out pretty well. Today I figured writing in my blog before I leave would also give me that extra backbone. I will need to use that willpower tomorrow too since it is the first teacher workday for this school year (that means food and lots of it). Since a remarkable number of my coworkers have had the gastric bypass surgery, I will probably try to sit near them (less food and less opportunity for "Oh Steph you have GOT to try this...")

Well, it is nearly 4:00 and the matches begin at 7. I've eaten a bagel thin with cream cheese and should be able to squeeze in some exercise before showering and hitting the road with my cue stick. (Yes, I am stalling - I am adept at running an avoidance pattern with anything unpleasant like exercise and being surrounded by fried, heavy, greasy food.)

I wonder if the energy I spend exerting my willpower can be translated into activity points. Okay, now this is getting pathetic. I need to just get off my butt. Wish me luck, I'm goin' in.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Midnight 2-mile walk

Tuesday, August 17, 2010
yes - I know it is 1am. I just got back from a two mile walk.

I wanted an ice cream - but I felt like the amount of furniture lifting and power sanding desks wasn't quite enough activity to warrant those two points. (God bless those Weight Watchers desserts!)

Anyway, I walked two miles. Not a leisurely, "Let's look at the pretty trees" walk, but a real sweat-producing, calves-burning, breathe-through-your-mouth walk.

And yes, the ice cream was divine.

Another 4 pounds GONE - 1st goal MET

Monday, August 16, 2010
I feel so empowered. Not only have I met my first target goal, but now I am at the weight I claimed to be for my ID card. I felt so guilty lying about my weight but I kept telling myself, it's only ten pounds - plus, my real weight seemed like such a big number. Then it hit me. That IS my weight. I am that number. I started tracking points with a vengeance.

I changed from wanting to lose weight so I could look better to needing to lose weight so I could live better. I am looking forward to enjoying the following:

- Shopping for clothes outside of the plus size section without thinking, "I wonder if this might fit."
- Reorganizing my closet so everything in it actually fits (no fat clothes section, no "when I lose weight" section...) Goodwill is going to get a lot of clothes!
- Enjoying a potluck luncheon at work without thinking that my coworkers are analyzing the food on my plate
- I want to JOIN A GYM! I still feel embarrassed about exercising in public. The thought of being the fat flabby one in the gym is too much for me to take (just typing this is making my insides squirm and my hands shake)
- This is going to sound silly, but I want to wear spandex.
- I want to go up flights of stairs without feeling my heart & lungs complain

There are so many things I am looking forward to enjoying. On my bucket list, I have "finish a marathon." In my class of eighth graders, this is usually fodder for giggles. I have to admit, I am rather sardonic when I admit this in class. But I still want to do it. I don't care about how long it takes me, I just want to be physically capable of completing it. And you know, I want to be able to admit this desire without having anyone scoff at it like it is ludicrous (including myself).

Ten pounds. I have lost TEN POUNDS. I am not hungry. When I crave a food from my "pre-Weight Watchers" existence, I find a substitute. And my cravings have been sated. I am not spending my time thinking back to when I was thin. I am spending more time PLANNING the time for when I am healthy again! I might break down and try walking in my neighborhood (yes, in public, in broad daylight - I must be crazy.)

Can't wait for tomorrow's weigh-in

Sunday, August 15, 2010
Every Sunday night I play in a doubles pool league. And every Sunday night I do a mock aerobics routine trying to get dressed: Suck it in and zip quickly or lay down on the bed to zip up my shorts and sport the muffin top. Tonight, I grabbed my clothes and began the ritual again. Except this time, there was no grunting, sucking in, or silent prayers that the button remains fastened.

My shorts were big on me. Big enough that if I were trying them on in the store, I would go back for a smaller size. While I was playing pool, one of the players had Brooklyn Pizza delivered. I was not even tempted for a piece: The entire night I kept thinking about the shorts that were resting on my hips instead of strangling my waist.

When I got home at 1:00am, I celebrated with a Weight Watchers Giant Chocolate Cookie ice cream bar (only two points). If you have not tried this dessert, you have been denying yourself a major experience. I was surprised at the sheer size of the treat. And when I took the first bite, I was ecstatic. Low fat? Could have fooled me. This was absolutely delicious - it didn't taste like I was sacrificing anything. I had to double check the box to make sure I was right. Two points. Seriously.

So I am pretty set for lunches, dinners, snacks, and desserts. My major problem is breakfast foods. I do not eat breakfast (but I know I should). I checked out the Weight Watchers products and I might have to buy some when school starts. For now, I bought Bagel Thins and the Weight Watchers cream cheese. This might help me get into a better eating routine. Now that my portion sizes and choices have improved, I need to work on the times that I eat.

I hope tomorrow's weigh-in will be cause for celebration. If not, at least I know I am going in the right direction. I still have things to work on (activity level primarily) but overall, I feel like I am doing well. Go me!

She said "You look like you've lost weight."

Thursday, August 12, 2010
All is right with the world.

I am still covered in sweat and about ten pounds of sawdust from sanding the graffiti off of the "new to me" tables in my classroom. I have a ton of work to do and not enough time to do it. I have a mountain of bills and not enough money to cover them by the due dates since I had to pay $700 to fix the air conditioner and then the $150 electric bill skyrocketed to nearly $400-yes, really, that is not a typo. Oh and my car needs more work (the $2500 wasn't enough I guess) and my son's car needs new tires and the engine just started squealing. My son starts his senior year (he's 18) and hasn't been able to get a job - I don't think there is a business in a 30 mile radius that doesn't have his application. I am sitting on a dining room chair in the living room since I had to trash our sectional sofa set because apparently my dog used it as her personal potty while I was away.

So why am I happy? A friend who hasn't seen me in a couple of weeks said, "You look like you've lost weight." Of course, given my state of cleanliness (remember, I am sweaty and dirty) she also asked if I was feeling okay.

Talk about a pick me up. If she had not said that, I am not sure I would have been able to resist the oooey-goooey cheesy pizza another friend offered to me. If she had not said that, I probably would have been tempted by the paper bags my husband left on the counter tonight that were filled with greasy fried chicken, pulled pork barbecue, cole slaw, hush puppies, bacon-n-green beans, potato salad...all the trimmings.

As it is, I am sitting here feeling less fat (whether or not I am we'll find out Monday) and I am not tempted by the mountain of fatty food overtaking our kitchen. Of course I am counting on my son devouring the majority of it when he comes home. And I am also hoping my daughter and her boyfriend will get rid of the rest when they get off work tonight. Tomorrow I have more work to do and am driving a few hundred miles to pick up my niece from her vacation.

Okay, here I am yapping when what I should be doing is jumping in the pool. Well, maybe the shower first - I am pretty sure the smell in here is me since I threw out the offending sofa. I am crossing my fingers that five hours of heavy lifting and sanding at work today will be worth some serious activity points!

Oh yeah-veggie burger

Thursday, August 12, 2010
Last night I was going to have a burger. There was no way around it. I pulled up the Weight Watchers points tracker and tried to figure out exactly what I could have. I nearly dropped my laptop when I saw how the Boca Burgers are only one point. I drove to Wal*Mart to get my Boca Burger and some lite buns. Guess who was OUT of lite buns and who doesn't even carry Boca burgers? Yep-I was dejected. I shuffled my feet up and down the aisles moping. I was hungry for a burger and felt so excited about the possibility of having one, that I was willing to overlook the fact that it wasn't even made from meat. (My desperation knows no bounds.)

So I tried to find something else. I got stuck in the frozen breakfast food aisle because a group of people decided to have an impromptu reunion in the middle of the aisle and I had to go around a different way. That's when I saw the green box.

Morning Star makes veggie burgers. I grabbed the box that read "Better than Boca" and hurried to the bread aisle. I knew they were out of lite bread but I figured with only one point for the burger, I could handle the extra points from the regular bun. Then I spied Arnold's Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins. Okay, they don't look appetizing. But I figured since my burger doesn't have meat, why stick with an original bun, right? (Maybe I was getting delusional in my hamburgerless state of mind)

Well, I got home, sprayed the skillet and plunked the veggie patty on the pan. While it cooked I sliced an onion, grabbed some lettuce, put a MEASURED 1/8 teaspoon each of mayo, mustard, & ketchup (no points there hee hee hee) on my ONE POINT sandwich thins. I sprinkled pepper on my "burger" as it cooked and put my masterpiece together. It smelled like a burger and I was pretty psyched to note how soft the sandwich thins were - maybe there's hope after all!

When I took a bite, my eyes rolled back, my heart started pounding, and I had to restrain my hands from shoving the rest of the burger into my drooling face. Yes, it was good. So good, in fact, that I have no desire for a greasy cheesburger. (And that is saying something!)

This afternoon, I thought I'd give it another shot. Guess what? It was just as good today as it was last night. There is hope out there. It is possible to eat delicious food and lose weight. Well, I hope I am losing weight. I feel better though, so even if Monday's weigh-in is not what I expect, I know that I am eating healthier. Wait. Let me engrave that in my memory, because if Monday isn't a happy day I'm going to have to remember that. Healthy is the goal. Healthy is the goal...While we're on the subject, since they make a substitute for burgers, do you think there is a substitute for exercise? Ugh.

Go Ahead, Eat your Burger

Wednesday, August 11, 2010
So I was sitting at a table with my friends during our pool match tonight when one by one, each orders a juicy, cheese covered, ketchup & mayo soaked hamburger on a fresh bun. When the first one was eating, I was able to ignore the slow, agonizing pace with which she ate her divine order. But then it looked so good, the other teammate ordered one. Then the other - and that one ordered fries on the side. Fortunately, Mr. Fries sat next to me and he likes his covered with ketchup. (I eat my fries with mayo so I wasn't tempted.)

I felt like I was losing my mind. I sprinkled some hot sauce into my Bud Select 55 and chewed my gum like it was key to my very survival.

And I made it. I kept looking at the menu board for Weight Watcher friendly items, but other than water and the lettuce they put on the burgers, I was out of luck. So a couple of hours ago, I made it home and ate a cup of brown rice and a few Chinese Snow Peas. I even splurged on a piece of wheat toast with a slice of cheese on top.

I can go to bed feeling proud for not giving in to temptation. Silly, I know, but you have no idea how much I love a juicy, rare cheeseburger. I guess tonight I loved my potential figure a little more than that meal.

Monday, August 9, 2010

6 lbs GONE, Vincent is next!

I didn't LOSE six pounds, I exterminated them! History. Gone. Never to return!

A few weeks ago I lost four pounds then promptly found them after three weeks on the road.

This time, I evicted those same pounds and added a couple of their unwelcome friends too! I feel like I could take on the world! Now if I could destroy the evil blister that is currently taking over my heel...

I have named the blister Vincent (after the genius Vincent Price) because that is the voice it uses when it taunts me. (sigh) Vincent may have won today, but I'm planning on a seige tomorrow-Neosporin and Bandaid may have to join me in the fight to overthrow him.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Fried Chicken: I vanquish thee!

What is that glorious smell in my house you ask? It would be deep fried chicken tenders. Last night my husband and son teamed up to make buttery potatoes and fried chicken. Apparently someone is trying to kill me.

I was losing my mind - it is easier to avoid scarfing down a fried chicken leg or thigh, but when they are just itsy bitsy tenders...So I left the house. After I started the car and backed out of the driveway I made sure I was dressed. I drove to Wal*Mart with images of Quasimodo in my mind screaming, "SANCTUARY!"

I bought every variety of fruit offered and restocked my Smart Ones supply - and so I wouldn't appear too selfish, I grabbed some toilet paper and dog food.

By the time I got back home I was energized. Then I walked back into the house. The smell didn't merely draw me in...no, the tantalizing smell of fresh fried chicken reached out, sucker punched me, and dragged my drooling face into the kitchen. I wanted to cry when I saw my son crunching into a piece - he even had a drop of butter on his chin from a potato.

Thankfully, I had armfuls of Wal*Mart bags or I might have lost the battle right then. While I unpacked, I unceremoniously tossed a steamable bag of broccoli in the microwave (my secret weapon). By the time I was done with my Wal*Mart haul, the veggies were ready. Only one more hurdle left: I had to reach across the chicken tenders to get a plate. Briefly I wondered if I could just eat the veggies out of the bag but thought better of it.

Oh yeah. I did it. I ate my steamed broccoli in the other room while the boys filled their faces with fried chicken and buttery potatoes. King Arthur may have had a fine sword, but Excalibur has nothing on a bag of steamed broccoli!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Write Damn You Write!

Here I sit thinking of all the things I should be doing, and instead I am reading about other people who have DONE them. Dammit.

I am the recurring victim of the procrastination demon. It stalks me day and night and is remarkably ingenius with excuses for me to keep from tackling whatever it is I should be doing.

I think I should have the all-too-comfy sofa removed from my house so I won't be sucked into its depths. This is writer's hell. My days to complete my goal are dwindling and I can't seem to stop blogging, tweeting, reading (and yes, I admit it-I was trapped on facebook until 3:30 this morning). Just what is my problem?

My dream? To be a successful published author. (Well, and to be about 60 pounds lighter - but let's focus here.)

It seems my motto is "But I meant to..."

Monday, August 2, 2010

I am in heaven: PIZZA!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010 - From my Weight Loss Blog

I have been waiting all week for this...PIZZA! Not just any run-of-the-mill slap some tomato sauce on dough and melt cheese kind of thing, but REAL melt your heart, make your stomach beg for mercy PIZZA!

I am back in the north where the pizza is divine (no restaurant chain - only a family-owned shop will do!). I ate three SMALL pieces of the best pizza I swear I've eaten in the past 13 years. Thin (but not crunchy) crust, very little tomato sauce, a little bit of cheese, and then generous amounts of broccoli, peppers, tomatoes, spinach, & onions. I am in heaven. I swear the angels are singing. I could have eaten the entire pizza. But, I didn't (go me)! I figure I'll worship over its deliciousness tomorrow for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. One slice for each meal should be good. I can hardly wait. Maybe I'll even tack on another mile tomorrow...pizza is good for the soul!

I can just see me tomorrow morning walking three miles - every step bringing me closer to a slice of heaven (sigh). Maybe I'll have the second slice for lunch after doing laps in the pool - and maybe the last slice for dinner after 2 miles on the track in North Andover. I feel so satisfied - and spoiled right now. Amazing what three little pieces of pizza can do for a body.

Houseguest: Not a scale in sight

Monday, July 19, 2010 from my weight loss blog
Is this a bad thing? I am a guest in a house that doesn't seem to have a scale. Today is my weigh-in day. I feel good (albeit a little guilty because I didn't exercise today).

Tonight is also a tornado watch - lots of cool lightning out here. The cats don't seem to care for it though. It seems I will have three furballs in the bed with me again tonight. I wonder if breathing with a heavy cat laying on my chest counts towards my activity points? Hmmmm....I think I'll have to check that out. Oh, wait! I did RUN out in the thundering, lightning-filled, downpour to make sure the pool was okay. That might be worth something. Ugh. I still feel pretty guilty. I even had the opportunity to go to an exercise session at my cousin's house (the personal trainer/fitness freak). I chickened out. I mean it is hard enough to let her see me wheezing through a workout...but to have a few total strangers marvel at the lump formally known as my body - that's too much for me. Really. I know it sounds silly, but even if I survived the free weights without injuring myself or an unsuspecting bystander, I know they would be hapless victims when the aerobic activity started. I may be able to control the little bit of muscle packed under the fat, but once my flabby wings get going, they develop a mind of their own, and WHAM! I could take down the whole crew.

The things I do for my fellow man. So here I sit, alone (save for a few cats) in someone else's house while a storm rages outside. I didn't exercise today and I can't find a scale. I guess I can't complain. At least I did stay true to the diet.

In Boston at the mercy of my cousin (fitness freak) God someone save me

Monday, July 19, 2010 from my weight loss blog
I am 800 miles away from home, and have been successfully following my new lifestyle/diet change - I haven't been eating well though. The food I eat is healthy and well within my target goals, but I am not eating enough. The other day, other than enough water to choke a fish, I ate an apple. Yep. One apple. It seems I am going to have to make myself sit down and eat throughout the day. Especially now that I am trapped under the influence of a fitness freak who has me (gulp) exercising.

I made the mistake of mentioning to my cousin's wife that I was trying to lose weight and get in shape, and found out she is a personal trainer. Now she has taken a personal sadistic interest in turning me into her latest success story.

Now, keep in mind, I am out of shape. I think parking far away from a Wal*Mart entrance is exercise. Well, Friday night she kidnapped me and I race-walked 2 miles (in the same time it took her to jog somewhere around 3 miles). I was just psyched that I didn't collapse after the first lap! When I made to the EIGHTH lap, I was thinking, "This isn't too bad. I can do this"

Then I woke up the next morning. Sometime in the night I must have been beaten because I was sore. The answer? Saturday afternoon we walked for 3 miles. If I had the energy to hit her over the head and bury her in a shallow grave, I might have done it. Actually I think those recurring thoughts kept me going.

Sunday, I figured I'd beat her at her own game. I woke up early, did the three miles on my own (in less time, mind you) and waited for her to arrive. And waited. And waited. Sunday night I got tired waiting and went to Starbucks for my one indulgance: A caramel macchiato - and yes, it was divine! She was so smug when I told her about my walk that morning.

She threatened me with another visit today. I feel like I am watching a car wreck - I know it's going to be unpleasant - maybe even gruesome - but I wait just the same. I must be some kind of masochist. I even made myself eat a Weight Watcher's blueberry muffin for breakfast. Today is my weigh-in day, but I am not sure if there is a scale in this house. I really want to see how I'm doing - especially since I've been slowly killing myself with this exercise thing.

Fingers crossed that today's workout will go smoothly.

Drove 800 miles today

Thursday, July 15, 2010 from my weight loss blog
Yep - drove a wee bit today...tried my best to follow my points. I even tried the veggie burger from Burger King (can't eat a salad while driving). All in all, it was pretty good. The best news about that meal was they accidentally gave me an order of medium french fries...AND I DIDN'T EAT THEM!!! I threw them out at the next rest stop - go me!

The next food stop was an IHOP - turkey bacon (yum), scrambled egg substitute (yum), sugar-free maple syrup on my lowfat pancake...TOO DIE FOR.

So, I guess it is humanly possible to do this program while in a crazy schedule...am crossing my legs for tomorrow's Continental Breakfast in the hotel lobby. Boston, don't let me down!

I want something sweet

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 from my Weight Loss Blog
I want a piece of cake - or pie - or a really soft, warm brownie...I had so meany errands today that I missed a meal - now here it is nearly 2am and I have 5.5 points I can still have for "today." And boy do I want something sweet.

Tomorrow I am driving to Boston (15 hour drive) and will spend a week trying to stay within my points guideline. I am planning on doing a lot of reading, writing, and avoiding the outside world unless absolutely necessary. (Can't stray if I'm not surrounded by the enemy, right?)

Okay, I feel better now - sweets craving has subsided. Maybe I should go to bed and dream about having enough strength to get through this next week!

First Weigh-In

Monday, July 12, 2010 From my Weight Loss Blog

It's been a few days and today is the official weigh-in. I have lost four pounds! It is amazing how much a mere four pounds makes in my confidence. This means I have gone from 200 pounds to 196...instead of 60 pounds to lose, I now only have 56.

This has been a tough weight loss week. My girlfriend turned 58 - birthday cake. My son turned 18 - birthday cake. Both parties included eating out. Talk about challenging. But I figured, if I am making a true life change, then holidays and special occasions should be parts of it. I ate a salad, grilled fish and veggies at the steakhouse (sitting next to my husband who was eating a juicy steak and a loaded baked potato and across from my niece who was downing a plate of chili cheese fries and my son who ate steak and cheesy mashed potatoes). I drank a lot of water that night. Later that evening, I ate a very small piece of chocolate cake (with a glass of water).

At the second birthday party, I ate one breadstick, a small bowl of salad, and mushroom filled ravioli at Olive Garden. My husband and son both ate parmesan encrusted steak with cheese ravioli and alfredo sauce and gorged on breadsticks). I took my time and tried to put my fork down with each bite. Later that evening I ate a small piece of strawberry birthday cake.

If I can still lose weight on a crazy week like this, I should be celebrating all year. Of course right now, all I can think of are the extra slices of strawberry cake sitting in my kitchen. Last night, I wanted a piece so badly I ended up steaming a bag of broccoli and eating the entire thing.

I still have a lot to work on - I mean, I am keeping within my points goal, but am not getting everything I need (water, dairy - and I still haven't bought the multi-vitamins yet). I am also woefully behind on my activity tracker. The good news is that I am doing more - the bad news is that it isn't enough. Here's hoping my type A personality at work can extend to my weight loss plan!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Merry Sisters of Fate contest


The Merry Sisters of Fate (Tessa Gratton, Maggie Stiefvater, and Brenna Yovanoff) have done it again - A Contest of "Epic" Proportions. The prizes?
1) A signed copy of Linger
2) A signed ARC of The Replacement
3) A signed copy of the audiobook of Linger
4) A Merry Fates tote bag
How to win said items? WRITE a response to the visual prompt, The Princess and the Pea by Edmund Dulac.
My entry is below the link (even if you don't plan on entering the contest, you have GOT to follow them). Seriously, click the link below and enter a world you will wish you created, but will be grateful to be a part of.
ENTRY: (short - but here goes...)
The youngest daughter of the home received many suitors that spring.
Following tradition, new bedding was added to her chamber with each proposal of marriage. News spread across the land of the highly sought-after maiden who slept atop a tower of linen. As they heard the tale, eager men traveled far distances to try to win the lady's hand.
Night after night, visitors called upon the home. And night after night, the maiden fell asleep on an ever-growing mountain of crushed dreams.
Years passed, yet her popularity didn't wane. The bedding grew to epic proportions. Musicians wrote ballads about her, playwrights created tragic masterpieces for the stage, men longed to win the ultimate prize, while young girls worldwide fantasized about being her.
Ultimately one bright summer morning, the most popular woman in the world died alone.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I have Writer's Crumbs...

What is my problem? I have had writer's block before, but now I am suffering from a pile of little ideas, like cookie crumbs, a growing number of possibilities...I feel like my brain is under attack by ideas, possible character names, varied endings...maybe I'm insane.

A part of me knows I need to type it all out - all of it - so when I am whining about writer's block, I can piece together all of the material that has been cluttering my brain over the past few days. I have scraps of paper in my house, in my car, and in my purse with ideas or notes for expanding my short stories into a series of novels.

Best of Both Worlds is a tentative title for the series - each book within the series has a different set of main characters, except for one character: She is the narrator for "one world" in each of the books. She eventually becomes the main character focus of the last book in the series - instead of being "on the sidelines" so to speak.

The premise is unique, but the endings vary (some are "happy" while others will rip your heart out). I guess in a nutshell these books allow a character to have the "smart" choice and the soul mate...at least for a while.

Guess I better stop fiddling and start working...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

False Dichotomy of Twilight Teams

Team Edward or Team Jacob? How can anyone be on either team? Even Bella herself is incapable of being mutually exclusive - and her character lives it all firsthand. How can a fan, experiencing this phenomenon vicariously, ever be able to claim to be a member of Team Edward or Team Jacob? That's like asking people if they are Team Vanilla or Team Chocolate, or Team Hot Dog versus Team Hamburger, or Team Pepsi versus Team Coke.

I am the kind of person who orders a salad at Burger King and eats raw beef but gags at the thought of eating sushi. How can I possibly be expected to choose a side? Especially when I am fascinated with Gil Birmingham (Billy Black) and Billy Burke (Chief Swan), and get goosebumps watching Kellan Lutz (Emmett), Jackson Rathbone (Jasper), Charlie Bewley (Demitri), Michael Welch (Mike Newton), and Chaske Spencer (Sam).

The irony is that even in a fictional world, we seem incapable of deciding what (or whom) it is we want. So I guess it is time to go to sleep to let my dream-self decide for me.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Fascination with Celebrities

I love getting things for free. Well, except for advice. When it comes to people telling me how to live my life, my ears are closed. Even when I know they are right.

Case in point. I am fat. I know I am fat - there isn't any way to hide the flab taking over my body. I know I need to exercise. As I sit here using the lap top on the couch in front of the TV, I know I should be out walking. In my heart I know this. When I grabbed that extra piece of chicken, I knew I didn't need it. Yet, I ate it. And now I sit here with my disgusting lack of self control eclipsed only by the growing girth that is my body. (sigh)

About a week ago, I replied (in the Twitter-universe) to something an author posted. I mentioned that I am the type of person who can't go into a gym until I lose weight. Though I was trying to be funny, I meant every word. I don't want to be the fat chick everyone else looks at and says, "Well, at least I'm not that big."

So, my sarcastic quip earned a reply. A celebrity actually replies to me, and she tells me basically that I am an idiot and I need to get out there and work on the tonage that is my figure.

Here is the worst part. I listened.

She simply reaffirmed what I already knew. Yet, I listened. Why is that? Why is it that her words seem to make an impact? She is an author. I am a reader. What makes her opinion so noteworthy? What is it about that celebrity status that has people listen?

A few months ago I was in Charlotte at the official Twilight Convention and Charlie Bewley made a comment, "Age is just a number." (My first thought was, "Well, so is weight, but you don't hear me spouting that slogan.") - but then I got to thinking about age and how much emphasis we place on it. Why is it that it took an actor to say it for me to start thinking about it? For goodness sakes, he plays an immortal - someone for whom age is irrelevant, and here I am listening to what he says.

What is it about the celebrity status that makes people listen (and even act) on what they are saying? Why do celebrities have such an impact on us? I guess when I finally publish my books and then someday become a celebrity, I can start listening to my own advice.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

First Blog (I know, what an original title, right?)

My first blog should be memorable; I mean first impressions count. A lot. For example, I admit to judging books by their covers. Often, I've been in line at Books-a-Million or Barnes and Noble with books in tow and not a clue about their plots. Cover art is such an underrated and often underestimated factor in a book's success.

Take Shiver (by Maggie Stiefvater) for instance. LOVE the cover. It grabbed my attention and went in my over-filled basket before I even glanced at the plot summary. After all, if the publisher puts this kind of attention to the cover, it HAS to be a good novel, right? My niece noticed it in my precariously balanced stack of books and began reading the book before I could even make it to the register. She continued to read it on the hour ride home and begrudgingly got out of the car to finish it at home.

A few years ago one of my students (who knows how much I appreciate effective design) asked me about the meaning and possible symbolism for the cover of a book she was reading. It was Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. That simple cover art question made a huge impact on me. I started a Twilight club in school which includes a book club for other must-reads. My 8th grade language arts classroom library is missing half its books (literally-I only have about 500 books on my shelves now) because students have grabbed them for summer reading. The cover art for The House of Night novels by P.C. and Kristin Cast drew (pun intended) so many of my student readers.

If I like a plot (or someone recommends a book) and I don't like the cover, reading it feels like doing homework. If it is a hardback, I simply remove the paper sleeve. Paperbacks are more challenging. For example, I despise the covers for the Sookie Stackhouse novels (my niece has been telling me to read them, but the cartoonish drawings on the covers kept me from the series). I ended up buying the first one (new cover, thanks to an HBO series based on the books) and got hooked with the plot. Then I had to break down and buy the ugly books. All of them.

So now, my dirty little secret is out. I am a biased bibliophile. If I ever get the guts to submit my novels (and get lucky enough to be published) I hope the covers are appealing. I'd hate to have to display my own books so that only the spine shows.